My father called a couple of hours ago to ask if I would go over and help him out with money. There is a bit of history to this request.

Dad always loved his EFTPOS card. All he ever had to do was remember a simple PIN; he never had to worry about having insufficient cash, and never needed to carry the stuff around in his pockets. Many times he proselytized the wonders of EFTPOS to my unimpressed mother - often when she complained that she didn't have enough money in her purse. Although mum was past the point where she could learn to use EFTPOS for herself, for years things worked quite well. Dad was a fully-fledged member of the cashless society, and we would ensure that mum had enough banknotes in her purse to keep her happy.

A few times when I was out shopping with dad, I heard him recite his PIN as he was entering it at the point of sale. Shop assistants would make a show of covering their ears, or would remonstrate with us that saying the number out loud was dangerous. Dad took the point whenever it was made, but he couldn't modify his behaviour. His memory for the number was so insecure that he simply had to use strategies to recall it. We began to be seriously worried about him having his card stolen and his bank account emptied.

At the same time, dad was losing the card every few weeks. Each time dad called to say the card was lost, either my brother or I would drive over to the house, search it, and if the card couldn't be found, call the bank to cancel it. Often the card would be found, in which case there was no real problem. Sometimes the old card would turn up again a few days later, and neither dad nor mum would know how. It almost got to the point where dad was more often waiting for a new card than actually using it.

I discussed this with my brother, and we decided we had to change to a new system. We were too worried that dad's card would be stolen, and the convenience of using it was negated by the frequent periods when it was lost or being replaced. The problem is that you are continuously in a dilemma with dementia. On the one hand you need to keep simplifying life for the person who is suffering it, but on the other hand change is so disruptive and unwelcome. In fact, change can be the major cause of anxiety. If, one day, we can solve the problem of how to improve things without changing anything, I am sure it will make our fortune.

Nowadays we keep both mum and dad furnished with enough cash to cover their weekly expenditure - much more than enough really. If dad calls, as he did today, worried about money, we give him some more. Slowly, very slowly, his worry seems to be diminishing, and consequently the new system is becoming the norm. I keep the EFTPOS card, and simply reimburse my brother, or myself, whenever necessary.

Of course, this is temporary. It will not be long, I can see, before dad is no longer able to do his basic shopping (milk, bread, fruit, chocolate). We'll simply have to set up another system when the time comes.