I spend the afternoon with mum and dad and nothing much out of the ordinary takes place. As I arrive, dad intercepts me on the back verandah and whispers:

'I'm glad you're here. I'm in the dog house, I am. Your mum's going berserk.'

I meet her at the back door. She steps outside and nods towards dad. She holds her hands up near the sides of her head and shakes it - indicating quite eloquently that he has been driving her mad. She gives me a hug. The cats are pleased to see me too - it is quite a welcome.

I am pleased to see that my uncle Bob, mum's younger brother by seven years, has replied to my letter and included his autobiography. The difference in mental acuity between him and his sister is now extreme.

We sit on the deck and drink tea, while passing around Bob's letter. Mum can pick out the familiar names and places in the story. For a while I am afraid that she is not going to give the letter back to me.

After afternoon tea we all drive down to the mall to have...afternoon tea. We could keep doing this all evening and mum and dad would not object.

Sitting at the table, we are enjoying a quiet (by mall standards) moment which is then shattered by the crashing of several dozen supermarket trollies, all slid together in a giant mechanical snake, into a wall. Mum jumps out of her skin.

'What was that?'

'It's just the army, mum.'

'What are they doing?'

'Just shooting people.'

She laughs.

'Have you noticed these blokes that wear trousers that finish below the knee?' Dad asks. 'You don't know if they are long shorts or short longs.'

'Maybe one leg is a long short and the other is a short long.'

'Mike, can we get some money from the bank?'

'Dad we got some just ten minutes ago from that machine over there,' I say, pointing.

'Oh, yes. I forgot.'

'Very convenient, sometimes, your forgetting.'

They both laugh.

'Cor, look at the hair on that bloke,' says dad. 'It reminds me when we were at Speke during the war. You had to take your cap off as you passed the guardhouse, so the corporal there could see that you didn't need a haircut. One day about six of us went past, and one bloke didn't take his cap off. We all knew what was going to happen. The corporal made him lift his cap, and when he did his head was completely bald. Haha. He made that corporal look a bit of a twit.'

Mum and I both smile. We've heard this one before.