Just our luck
By M on Saturday 21 October 2006, 11:59 - Background - Permalink
I've just finished reading an article in
The Independent about the Aberfan disaster of 1966, which happened exactly
40 years ago today, and it has triggered a series of thoughts.
Greg and I walked home from school that day - I was nine, he was just
approaching his seventh birthday - and entered the house by the back door. We
found our mother standing at the ironing board, full of the terrible news: a
school in Wales had been buried by a slag heap that had liquefied and run down
a slope. Over 100 children our age had been killed. Mum was deeply upset by it,
and it was a horror that affected me too. It was all too easy to imagine myself
buried alive just as the children of Aberfan had been. The article mentions how
Aberfan 'remains synonymous with unspeakable grief about the death of
children'. It is true. This morning I only had to see the word in my RSS news
reader to know instantly what the article was about and to feel a strange
prickling sensation at the back of my neck.
The few surviving children are now in their forties, their parents in their
seventies. I started to think about how we are shaped by our times, and how
different this shaping has been for my and my parents' generations.
My boyhood was illuminated by the exploration of space, from Yuri Gagarin to
the Apollo 11 moon landing, which the family all watched on TV. There was
another event in 1966 in Britain that is deeply carved into male memories:
England beating Germany in the World Cup final at Wembley. It was still soon
enough after WWII, believe it or not, for this victory to have had deep
militaristic overtones.
In the Sixties Michael Apted began his documentary series on fourteen children
- seven working class, seven middle class - revisiting their lives every seven
years. The 'children' are just a year older than me. Every seven years, as his
documentaries are released a year after they are shot, I've aged a year and
therefore the ages of his subjects are always the same as mine. I see myself
there every time, suspended somewhere between the two classes of England.
In the late Seventies I was just the right age for Punk: the Sex Pistols, The
Damned, The Jam, The Clash, The Stranglers, and a host of other bands that
played the soundtrack to my college days - and that summer of '76!
In the Eighties I shared the excess as a frequent flyer Yuppie in Philadelphia
- two sports cars, a Centre City apartment and a spectacular girlfriend.
The nineties were more introspective for me, as they were for many others - a
time for reassessment, a return to values, approaching life from the inside
out. I went back to University; I cut back on the travelling.
It all sounds so easy when I compare it to my parents' evolution. They were
both born soon after WWI, when Europe was still trying to put itself back
together again. Things were simple and hard. No telephones in working class
houses then; coal to heat the water and food, the toilet at the bottom of the
yard. Then came the depression. My grandfather was out of work and earned a few
pennies by singing on the streets of London, his pal playing along on a piano
which they dragged around on a trolley.
The League of Nations failed and Europe's march of peace was proven to be a
stumble, soon to be followed by another fall into war. My father joined the RAF
just months before Great Britain's declaration, and was eighteen when it all
started again. He was torpedoed in the North Atlantic and saw his friend Barry
fall to his death during the sinking. My mother heard that it was dad who had
been killed and didn't know the truth for several weeks.
Before they had time to really get to know each other, or themselves, they had
a family to look after. The move to Australia was the first of many separations
to come, disruptions, leavings of homes and pets and circles of friends,
changes of culture and language. They did so many things separately, I wonder
if this prevented them ever doing them together? And now it is as if their two
worlds are slowly pulling apart again, like the two halves of Europe, like
their earlier geographical separations, like the two halves of dad's ship. Mum
is already an island dropping below the horizon; dad is a peninsula, still
attached by a thin shifting band of sand - his future isolation nevertheless
just as certain as mum's.
We take our luck as it finds us. I feel I've been lucky. Mum and dad have not
been unlucky. Despite the much tougher lives they led, how much more fortunate
they are to still have their family around them - unlike the parents of
Aberfan: 'Even after 40 years some people are still waiting for their children
to come home.'

Comments
Marvelous post...thought provoking. I have nothing to add. Just wanted you to know I'd read and appreciated it.