I take a less than rosy view of the medical profession. Hard to get hold of, cavalier and superior, organised to maximise their incomes and minimise their inconvenience, wringing the greatest number of consultations out of every minor problem and at the end of it all inclined to tell you that they can't do anything useful. Put them next to other businesses and you wonder what the world would be like if doctors operated on a 'full refund if not satisfied' basis, if they came to you when you called, if they adopted the 'one-stop shop' approach. Very different.

Today didn't exactly dispel my prejudice.

Dr Tibia, the dermatologist, does not yet have the results of the test on dad's skin. I need to call next week. Why couldn't he call me?

Dr Humerus, the psychogeriatrician, is only at her surgery two days a week and this isn't one of them. Her receptionist didn't even know if she was going to be available next week, so I made an appointment for mum the week after that.

Dr Ilium, the cardiologist, hides behind an automated redirection service, which ended up, after I'd obediently pressed different numbers in response to its questions, deigning to allow me to leave a phone message - to which I have not yet had a response.