Dad doesn't get it
By M on Wednesday 21 February 2007, 07:03 - Journal - Permalink
Yesterday Rachel reminded me that today, dad's regular day care centre day, the
centre would be closed for a staff meeting. She asked me if I had told dad. I
hadn't. I knew about today's closure about two weeks ago, but of course I
couldn't tell dad about it because he would either forget, or worry about it
for days, or perhaps not go the previous week. Since then I too had
forgotten.
Rachel told dad. That's when the phone calls started.
'Mike, Rachel tells me that the day care centre is closed tomorrow. Nobody told me about this.'
'Why are they closed?'
'It's for a staff meeting.'
'Then I should be there, shouldn't I?'
'No, dad. It's just for the people who work there.'
'Work there? Nobody works there.'
'Why can't they have the meeting on another day?'
'Well, whichever day they choose someone would have to be told not to come.'
'I'm going to go down there and check, because this doesn't seem right to me. Don't you think so?'
'No, dad. It certainly is right. There is no point checking.'
'I go there every Wednesday, you know. This never happens.'
'I think they would need me there, wouldn't they?'
'I am going to go to day care tomorrow, like I always do.'
'No dad. They don't want you to go tomorrow.'
'What? What did they say about me?'
'It is not just you. They don't want anyone to go tomorrow. The centre is closed.'
'Closed? I know nothing about that. I think the best thing is if I just walk down there at about nine-thirty - I like to get there a bit early and help out - and just, and just...'
'You can go if you have to, dad, but it will be closed.'
Throughout these calls I was busy in Instant Messaging conversations. I had to keep typing:
'phone brb'
'afk'
'phone :('
'my dad...'
'phone'
'my dad...again :)'
'phone...'
The outcome is inevitable. Dad will go to the centre at his usual time. He will be spotted at the window and gently sent back home. He will spend the rest of the day telling mum all about it. She will get completely fed up with him, snap, and he will end up in the doghouse, thinking he cannot do a thing right. And tomorrow's a new day.
Rachel told dad. That's when the phone calls started.
'Mike, Rachel tells me that the day care centre is closed tomorrow. Nobody told me about this.'
'Why are they closed?'
'It's for a staff meeting.'
'Then I should be there, shouldn't I?'
'No, dad. It's just for the people who work there.'
'Work there? Nobody works there.'
'Why can't they have the meeting on another day?'
'Well, whichever day they choose someone would have to be told not to come.'
'I'm going to go down there and check, because this doesn't seem right to me. Don't you think so?'
'No, dad. It certainly is right. There is no point checking.'
'I go there every Wednesday, you know. This never happens.'
'I think they would need me there, wouldn't they?'
'I am going to go to day care tomorrow, like I always do.'
'No dad. They don't want you to go tomorrow.'
'What? What did they say about me?'
'It is not just you. They don't want anyone to go tomorrow. The centre is closed.'
'Closed? I know nothing about that. I think the best thing is if I just walk down there at about nine-thirty - I like to get there a bit early and help out - and just, and just...'
'You can go if you have to, dad, but it will be closed.'
Throughout these calls I was busy in Instant Messaging conversations. I had to keep typing:
'phone brb'
'afk'
'phone :('
'my dad...'
'phone'
'my dad...again :)'
'phone...'
The outcome is inevitable. Dad will go to the centre at his usual time. He will be spotted at the window and gently sent back home. He will spend the rest of the day telling mum all about it. She will get completely fed up with him, snap, and he will end up in the doghouse, thinking he cannot do a thing right. And tomorrow's a new day.

Comments
I love that your Dad:
1. Believes he is part of the centre's staff, and;
2. is convinced that no one works there. Except, maybe, him.
Funny how many of us undemented people have the same suspicions about certain social service agencies. Funny how many of us also believe it would help if we showed up at the staff meetings.
And, your mom, well, weird, you know, I've never considered this but while I was reading your post I suddenly wondered how many people suffer very debilitating injury or death due to an attack by someone experiencing Alzheimer's rage. I wonder if there are any statistics...
Tomorrow is always another day...that's true. It's the day that never comes.