So far, so good
By M on Sunday 10 February 2008, 16:09 - Journal - Permalink
However, Rachel did make the call, and emailed me this morning as follows:
Mike
I have spoken to Bernadette,the duty nurse at the home this morning, as I just wanted to find out how mum was doing. Apparently she was just happily having her breakfast (around 10.30am) having been showered and dressed by Bernadette. They didn't appear to have experienced any problems with her at all.
The bad news is dad who is driving Greg and me mad with phone calls - I am just wondering how many times you had to accidentally stamp on your phone before it finally died.
Rachel
I've
been having phone problems this week, but since they've been fixed, dad has
been calling me too. In fact, he never stopped calling me. I had 28 messages
from him when I finally got on the air again, some of which I excepted
yesterday.
Comments
When my father was sick, the effects were more visible in my mother. And the effect his disease had on my siblings and I were pretty profound as well. The further the geographical distance, the less acute the symptoms. It took a long time for me to accept that fact.
The closer you are to your parents, the more of an effect Alzheimer's has. For instance, did you ever, in your wildest dreams, think you would someday be spending hours writing to complete strangers about the unraveling of your parents lives? I sometimes wonder if it is the intensity of this loss that opens the door to communication. What did people do before blogging on the internet? Was it a prayer that went out to the ether? What friend could endure a daily dose of the insanity of the decline? It's heartbreaking to think of your father wandering the house looking for his spouse. And his calls to his children, trying to make sense of what he can't understand.
I think your story is more about you and your siblings, than it is your parents. The way you work together, sitting on the back of the pickup, trying to find the gentlest path down an awful slope.
Your parents are blessed, not by their disease obviously, but by the refusal of their children to turn away. This disease sucks, of that there is no doubt, but what doesn't suck are the actions you take, time after time, on their behalf. You tell about how hard it is, the times you don't care, the times you're too busy, but we, your readers, always find you back in the heart of your family, doing so much to help. More than you know, your constant and honest documentation has helped me get a better view of the mountain I climbed. When you're in it, you don't see it. If you did, you'd never take the first step.
Thank you for not giving up or turning back. Thank you for telling the truth as you see it. And thank you for helping the rest of us view our own decisions through the lens of your experience.
No small task. I hope your father can find care quickly. I don't see how he could survive entirely on his own, worried that his wife went missing.
Patty