Dad's been very pathetic this week. He cannot remember what we tell him about mum. He just wants her back. He stands by the phone and calls Rachel, Greg and I repeatedly.

My phone services have been intermittent this week, but each time the phone came online again there was a large backlog of messages - 55 at one point. A new milestone has been passed: I no longer listen to them all. If I hear a message is from dad, I delete it.

So, what are we doing about this? Rachel is taking dad to see mum tomorrow (Saturday). I don't know what good this is going to do, and I am anxious that dad could actually make the visit a disaster by upsetting mum. I would be inclined to leave mum to her own devices for another week, given that we are told she is doing well. I want her to forget completely that she has only just begun to live there, and I don't know how long this will take. Then again, part of me wonders what difference it all makes. She has no real option of coming out again, and if she is unhappy there, well she was not happy at home in the end either.

And the visit is unlikely to stop dad's calls. We have a slightly longer-term solution for that. See the following email I received today from Greg:
I had a nice conversation with Harriet today; it appears we are back in her good books. She said that the room that opens out onto the courtyard that Rach and I though would suit dad is available. So I have arranged a meeting for next Thursday at 4:00pm so she can meet dad and make her own assessment of his suitability for that facility. At this stage I can take dad although one or both of you may like to join me. I expect that I will be showing him the room if Harriet thinks he’s suitably. We may visit mum while we are there.
Harriet is the manager who accused us of 'dumping' mum last week. Greg's abject apologies (all very calculated) seemed to have mollified her rather well.

Yesterday I spent over two hours going through mum and dad's financial matters to draw up a list of their current assets - for assessment prior to dad going into the home too. The home will take up to $250,000 as a lump sum payment within weeks of dad's admission. On Tuesday we are meeting the accountant to explore the legal ways of minimising this charge. We've already avoided paying most of this for mum by being able to exclude the house (their single significant asset) from her eligible assets. None of this will make much difference to mum and dad, as they are past caring and beyond financial hardship. It is us, the four children, and the three grand-children, who stand to benefit most from this exercise.

If these two meetings go well, on Tuesday and Thursday, and a clear plan emerges, we could have dad moved into the home within two weeks from today. It seems to all be happening rather fast, but having mum at home was not working, and now having dad alone is not working. We knew we had to move them at some stage. It is better to do it now, not when they want to, but when they are incapable of resisting.

It's going to be so much more pleasant not having to muck out the house every week, not having to answer the phone dozens of times a day. Being able to visit just when I feel like it, rather than when duty calls. I'm looking forward to it now.