Since staying up all night with dad I have been sleeping during the day and awake all night. I went to bed at about 8 am this morning and woke at about 4 pm. A hard black thought intruded like a stab in the soft cloudiness of waking: 'my dad is dead'.

I've avoided contact with friends today; only two of them know about the death, one local and one in the USA, and right now I don't want to talk about it, so I won't be telling anyone else soon.

I've just tried to stay quiet. I've talked to all my siblings by phone today, about the schedule, and distributed an email telling most of our cousins about the death - and that is about it. I must say that I want nothing to do with the flood of details that now pop up. None of the questions such as whether to hold a service, when, in what form, and who should be involved has any importance to me. We have at least agreed to schedule the funeral for later rather than sooner. By state law it must not take place more then seven working days after death. That gives us until Friday of next week.

Rachel, Greg and I will assemble at Greg's house at 10:45 tomorrow and then meet the undertakers at 11 am. My main function is to provide the vital statistics necessary for the death certificate.