Clearing up
By MM on Thursday 25 September 2008, 21:20 - Journal - Permalink
As I sit here at the computer, I am surrounded by my parents' papers, lying all
over the floor like pack-ice. I have been tip-toeing over the various stacks of
paper for a day and a half now. I've made a path through the middle so I can
get from the kitchen to the desk. Although I have been filing mum and dad's
papers for about two years now, everything needs to be collated and
re-examined. Many of their affairs involve money, which they owe to others,
which others owe to them, and which they have in several places. Now that dad
is dead, several things change - pensions, life insurance, and so on. Other
services such as his broadband and gas, telephone and burglar alarm
maintenance, are no longer needed.
The picture in my spare room is somewhat similar except that there there are icebergs - four great white plastic trunks which contain a) photographs, b) books and masonic material, c) personal items and mementos, and d) gramaphone records and the x-rays and scans mum and dad have had over the last ten years. I've spent quite a bit of time doing the preliminary sorting of this material but, again, much more is required.
In the boot of my car I now have all of dad's things from the retirement home. That amounted to three big bin-liners full of clothes, a small portable stereo, a clock, a couple of wooden bowls, two framed photographs, and some tapestries that mum made. I drove over to the home this afternoon and picked up all of it. This is the last of several bootloads of stuff I have brought back to my place recently. I shall probably do what I normally do - leave it in the boot for a few days until I am in the mood to sort it out. In this case most of it, the clothing, will simply go into one of those roadside collection points the charities operate. I'l keep the clock since, even though I don't like it particularly, mine has recently begun to lose time. I'll keep the little stereo too.
And, having learnt the lesson of clearing out mum and dad's house, I have started doing the same at my office. there were complete filing cabinet drawers full of reference material I've kept but haven't referred to in eight years. In all, in one day, I filled an entire wheely bin with discarded paper, and rediscovered a few things I had thought were lost. It was, in other words, just like the house clearing.
Unfortunately, though, I was unable to visit mum today. There is yet another outbreak of gastroenteritis at her section, and they are in quarantine. The last time I saw her was the day dad died, 3 September, and I must admit that today I really only wanted to go in out of a sense of duty, and was glad to have a cast iron excuse for not going in.
The picture in my spare room is somewhat similar except that there there are icebergs - four great white plastic trunks which contain a) photographs, b) books and masonic material, c) personal items and mementos, and d) gramaphone records and the x-rays and scans mum and dad have had over the last ten years. I've spent quite a bit of time doing the preliminary sorting of this material but, again, much more is required.
In the boot of my car I now have all of dad's things from the retirement home. That amounted to three big bin-liners full of clothes, a small portable stereo, a clock, a couple of wooden bowls, two framed photographs, and some tapestries that mum made. I drove over to the home this afternoon and picked up all of it. This is the last of several bootloads of stuff I have brought back to my place recently. I shall probably do what I normally do - leave it in the boot for a few days until I am in the mood to sort it out. In this case most of it, the clothing, will simply go into one of those roadside collection points the charities operate. I'l keep the clock since, even though I don't like it particularly, mine has recently begun to lose time. I'll keep the little stereo too.
And, having learnt the lesson of clearing out mum and dad's house, I have started doing the same at my office. there were complete filing cabinet drawers full of reference material I've kept but haven't referred to in eight years. In all, in one day, I filled an entire wheely bin with discarded paper, and rediscovered a few things I had thought were lost. It was, in other words, just like the house clearing.
Unfortunately, though, I was unable to visit mum today. There is yet another outbreak of gastroenteritis at her section, and they are in quarantine. The last time I saw her was the day dad died, 3 September, and I must admit that today I really only wanted to go in out of a sense of duty, and was glad to have a cast iron excuse for not going in.
Comments
I really feel for you - going through papers is necessary, but it takes a helluva long time... And then you have to do it again to double-check you haven't missed anything important. I'm on the 3rd or 4th trawl now, and am still turning up papers that may be important.
You can barely get into our house as we clear the flat for a possibly impending sale (we hope - had one sale fall through already).
I'm thinking of taking some "before" photos of our living room so I can track how it improves when I get time and energy to begin sorting it. (we have lawyer probs that are stressful, so neither of us are feeling much like getting on with sorting, besides there's not time as the legal stuff has to take priority)
I found it helpful to get right away to get a break when we could. Is it possible for you to do that? Not living in the middle of the sorting helped clarify things for me. At least I felt it did!
We've had some stressful dealings with lawyers the last couple of weeks, so are hoping to get off for the weekend tomorrow. Husband is one of the most patient and long-suffering folks I know (he must be to stay married to me!), but even he is beginning to tear his hair out!
I hope that you can find the strength to go through all the stuff, but bear in mind it's important to not chuck things out too quickly - we are hanging on to some stuff until we feel more able to make rational decisions.
Best wishes from Liverpool
PS I loved the pack ice simile and ice-berg metaphor. I so know what you mean!
I'll let you know when I get photos up - maybe next week if life doesn't take over again.
A lot of our ice-bergs have heaped up over each other -
not enuff floor space! 
I second Maggie's comment on thinking before tossing. As long as you have it, you can always toss it out, sell it or give it away. Once it passes out of your hands, though, you can't get it back even if you change your mind about wanting to keep it. The inconvenience of having too much stuff everywhere is offset by the great increase in positive consequences to the very thoughtful disposition of effects.
Been there and thinking of you all,
Cailey