That mum's recent falls have come at just this time has had a bad effect on me. I've been short and impatient with people. I am sure it is not just for the reason I am about to cite, but largely it is, I believe.

After dad died we started trying to sort out all his affairs. This took a long time even to get started on, but about a week ago I had finally written to all parties concerned and had started some way down the path of resolving various affairs, one by one. I then began going through my own affairs. Not only do I think that I need to simplify things now, rather than later, as a result of dealing with mum and dad's, but I more immediately need to make sure that all my correspondence is redirected, as I had been using mum and dad's address for all my mail, and I cannot expect the tenants (who will be moving in on 1 December) to dutifully redirect everything for me.

Meanwhile, several of the organisations dad dealt with had told me how to proceed, and once I had complied, then told me what I had done wrong. In one case I needed to show that I had power of attorney for mum. A copy of the power of attorney form was insufficient, as was a copy certified by a Justice of the Peace. In addition to this I was also required to send a copy of both sides of my driver's licence and this, too, had to be certified by a JP! The letter I then sent them began as follows:

"In compliance with your latest unbelievably arbitrary request..."

So, despite all this paperwork very little has been so far achieved. The JP who certified multiple copies of my documents told me that it took six years to sort out all her father's affairs, so I am probably complaining too early.

Greg and I had agreed that what we ought to do to prevent a total replay of this situation when mum dies is to cash out all her various investments (insurance policies, shares, deposits in a mutual society, and so on) and pay the money into a bank account to which we are also signatories. Then we can both access the funds before probate is completed, and have far less to do during probate.

So, today I had a number of things to do in addition to going to see mum.
  1. I visited the house and was just in time to see a couple of lads from the rubbish removal company loading their truck and sweeping up. I told them how much we appreciated their doing the awful job of clearing out the rubbish under the house. This involved crouching low and dragging stuff through the dust. I did a bit of it several weeks ago and was in no mood for doing any more. I put the wheely bins out for rubbish collection on Thursday morning, and I collected the mail (many items of which are still not coming to the new address, Greg's post office box. I put a copy of the garage key into the lock-safe with the house key, and had a quick look around for the snake. One of the builders has been surprised by this reptile when he was moving sheets of asbestos behind the garage. He describes it as fairly thin and having a diamond pattern on its back, which makes it sound like a baby python. I've seen enough evidence to know that a strange thing happens to the human mind when it encounters a snake. People's descriptions are often quite at odds with the reality. I wonder whether the sight of a snake triggers something atavistic in our minds, which makes us later recall the archetypal snake rather than the common or garden variety we've seen.
  2. I sat in the car and went through the mail, scrawling replies on the letters themselves, and enclosing the requested documents (of which I have several certified copies now). On anything unimportant I just wrote 'no longer at this address' on the envelope. I shoved the excess enveloopes and advertising in the Paper and Cardboard Only wheelie bin and put the rest in the post box on the corner.
  3. I went to the bank and requested forms to allow Greg and I to become signatories to the account, so that we no longer depend on the power of attorney to write cheques. While I was there I also set up internet access, so that we can pay ourselves and watch the rent coming in. I fully expect mum to grow steadily richer now. Financially, everything has worked out extremely well so far.
  4. And then I was meant to visit mum, but it never happened. After talking to Greg on the phone and going over everything that has been done today and what we are going to do tomorrow, it was nearly 4 pm and I hadn't eaten at all today. Food was suddenly a priority. I thought that I could drive home immediately and beat the rush hour. I all but did that, but it was not until I was in the car and on my way that I realised that I had meant to visit mum today. Well, that must now happen tomorrow, as Greg and I will be meeting up at his offices to take our ID and the signatory form to a branch of mum and dad's bank, and I can make the long detour to the retirement village on the way home.
Mum was to be discharged today, but I do not know at what time. Seeing her yesterday had had a depressing effect on Greg. He openly wondered, on the phone to me, whether she would be better off dead. I can understand the feeling. We seem unable to do anything for her now, and she oscillates between cheerfulness and weeping without any apparent cause. I never found it easy to go and visit, and today's performance just tells me that unconsciously I don't want to do it, but lately, the trip over (for all of five minutes in which she is occupied with me before she wanders off again) just doesn't seem worth it.

So, nothing seems to be working lately. And just as I reach the end of one task, others spring up. It is no fun.