This weblog now enters a new phase, as the final act involving my mother took place today.

We had the funeral in the same chapel and in much the same clear weather conditions as for dad's funeral. There were some differences. It is a much hotter time of year now, and standing in the sun in a suit was not comfortable, not for long, anyway. The music was the same as for dad. The flowers were different, slightly, including irises this time. There were flowers from Bob, mum's brother, and from a close friend of mine, also containing irises. The coffin was white, not wood. And three of the family spoke.

Derek's wife Janet read a hymn which had been sung at our grandmother Annie's funeral in 1963, and then talked about her early experiences as a daughter-in-law, and the help and welcome she received from our mother. Then Rachel spoke, and described mum very well, covering her early life, meeting our father, leaving England, raising, in effect, two families and travelling all over the world. And last, I read the messages, not just those that have been received for mum, but also those for dad, most of which came in too late, and which we were just not in the right frame of mine to read back then.

I found it harder to read the messages that I expected. I had read them several times over to myself in preparation, but at the time, after having listened to Rachel's very affecting talk, I heard my voice faltering at times. However, it was good to have made the thoughts of family and friends public. I do think dad deserved it too, even though it was not his occasion today. I think we are all much more in possession of ourselves and able to determine what needs to be done, and how, this time.

There were fewer people at the funeral than last time; fewer from the church, and no family friends. When, mid-reading, I looked up at the congregation I was surprised at how small a gathering it was. We had expected staff from the retirement village to attend but in the event they were unable to.

Rachel has produced an order of service, using a photograph of mum taken on 17th April 2003 - both her 81st birthday and mum and dad's 60th wedding anniversary. For that event, we had received telegrams from Queen Elizabeth and several dignitries, the Governor-General, the Governor, the Prime Minister, the Premier and the local Member of Parliament. I'd presented mum with a bound first edition of the family history. We drank three champagnes, three different whites, three reds, and five dessert wines. But, really, all mum cared about was that everyone was there, all of the family who were there again today.

Afterwards we all went back to Greg and Regan's place, and had lunch sitting out on the deck overlooking the bay. None of us appear to be functioning in any way different from how we normally would. Life really does go on. I was interested to hear Derek reminisce about our mother's mother's funeral, the one I mentioned earlier. Several of our Irish relatives came across from Belfast, and some from where they were living in Southport. They surprised Derek by having no reserve, they were as familiar with him as they were with each other. One grabbed a clothes-brush and brushed at Derek's jacket.

I left after lunch. A bad night's sleep last night and too much wine the day before had given me a strong need to get horizontal. I came home and slept from 3 pm to 6:30. It is now time to start thinking about dinner and feeding the cats, both of whom outlived both my parents - something I didn't expect to happen.

Tomorrow we are all going to a restaurant high on a hill-top overlooking the Pacific. We went there after dad's funeral. Then, on Saturday, we are having Christmas dinner together - the first time since 1992, when Cassie's birth was still six years in the future.